How do I know I'm growing up?

     I have spent the past 4 years denying that I am aging. Sure I'm only 22 but it's insane that I can know it and yet still feel like an 18 year old girl whenever I can't call the doctors office about my appointment. I had so much anxiety about being a fully grown adult that I just never became one. One by one, I watched all of my friends graduate, get married, move away, and find their dream job while I stayed stuck- no, I am lost. 

    I had planned my entire life by the time I was 11 years old. I was so sure that I was destined to graduate, become a teacher, get married and have 2 babies by 25. I think that's when I knew something wasn't right in my brain. Once I turned 17 I realized that most of that was impossible. My entire life plan was derailed and I had no back up plan. No other idea for what I wanted. So I turned to some unhealthy habits that led me to the person that I am today. I don't regret the things I've done or meeting the people I have gotten to know over the past few years. I am so glad that I met those people and they taught me the lessons I so desperately needed. 

    I read posts from other girls who feel exactly like me and they speak so articulately and it inspires me. They speak from the heart and their words help heal women who find themselves doubting their worth. I would be lying if I said that I didn't spend a long time reading every single one of those posts in a desperate attempt to heal myself overnight. It honestly taught me that healing isn't an overnight process. It takes months of you talking to yourself and telling yourself that the only love that should be important to you is self love. At the end of the day, nobody can take better care of yourself than you. 

`I no longer think like the girl I was 4 years ago. If I could have a conversation with teenage me then I think I would tell her to enjoy the life of peace and freedom because becoming an adult sneaks up on you. Please be kind to your mind, body and soul <3